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Saturday, November 01, 2014

Chaloo..Santa Aur Bunta Ke Saath..Kuch Haas Le

https://www.facebook.com/pages/BSG-Jokes/470455629762039
Santa Aur Bunta Bank Lootne Gaye,
Par Pistol Bhool Gaye…
Phir Bhi Bank Loot Liya
Kyoo Ke..
Bank Manager Bhi Sardar Tha.... Bola 
“Vishwas Hai Kal Tum Bandook Dikha Doge”
Santa Ke Pita USA Se Laut Aaye.
Pita :- Teri Maa  Kahan Hai?
Santa  :-  Woh Toh  Parlok Sidhhar Gayee!
   Pita  :-  Ullu, Tune Mujhe Bataya Que Nahin?
Santa :- Maine  Socha Aapko Surprise Dunga

Bunta :-  Praji Meri Dictionary Mein "IMPOSSIBLE" Word Nahi Hai..!
Santa :  Ab Bolne
Se Kya Faayda? 
 
Jub Kharide Thi Tab Hi Check Karna Tha Na"
Santa :-  Praji Tussi Aagle Se Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?
Banta :-  Cockroach
Santa :- Cockroach  Kyu
Bunta :-  Kyu Ke Meri Bibi Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai
Santa Ko Apni Beti Ke Kamre Se Cigarette Ka Packet Mila..
Soochne Laga... Arre Yeh Cigrette Peeti Hai.. ?
Phir Usse Whisky Ki Botal Milee..
Socha...Arre Daru Bhi Peeti Hai ..?
Cupboard Khola..To Ek Nanga Ladka Khada Tha..
Phir Soocha. ."Hai Whayee Guru..Toh Yeh Sab Is Munde Ka Hai”
Santa Ko Koi Mobile Pe Tang Karta Tha
Santa Ne Naya Sim Card Kharid Kar Usse SMS Kiya..
Likha.. Mene Woh Sim Band Kar Diya Hai,
Ab Tu Toh Kya Tera Baap Bhi Mujhe Tang
Nahin Kar sakta
              
Oye Paaji, Apni Pregnant Wife Ko Itne Dard Mein Hospital Ki Jagah
                   Pizza Hut Kyun Le Ja Raha Ho........
Santa :-  Kyun Key Pizza Hut Mein "Delivery Free" Hai.!

Santa Ke Ghar Uske Sasural Wale Aaye,
Jasmeet :- Aaji Jao Bahar Se Kuch Le Kar Aao.

Santa  Bahar Gaya Aur Taxi Lekar Aa Gaya
 

Bunta :- Oye Agar Neend Na Aaye To Kya Kia Jaaye?
Saanta: Neend Ka Intizar Karne Se Achha Hai Ki Banda So Hi Jaye
                                        
Ek Baar Exam Main Saawal Tha, "Challenge Kise Kehte Hain?"
Bunta Ne Sare Panna Khali Chod Ker Aakhri Panne Per Likha..
"Apne Baap Ki Aulaad Hai To Paas Ker Ke Dekh."

                        
Banta Rail Ki Patri Per So Gaya ..
Aadmi Ne Pucha Kya Kar Rahe Ho?...
Train Aayegi To Mar Jaoge!
Bunta :- Mere Uper Se Hawai Jahaaz Guzar Gaya To Kuch Nahi Hua,
Train Kya Cheez Hai?
Teacher :- Delhi Me  Kutub Minar Hai.Bunta Class Mein Soo Raha Tha..Teacher Ne Utha Liya..
Teacher :-  Maina Kya Kaha ?.
 
Bunta 
:-  Delhi Me Kutta Bimar Hai ..


Santa :- Yaar Meri Biwi Paani Se Bahut Darti Hai.
Bunta :- Tujhe Kaise Pata?
Santa :- Dopahar Ko Ghar Aaya To Woh Bathtub Mein Chaukidaar Ke Sath Naha Rahi Thi.

    Santa :- Raat Bhar Train Mein Neend Hee Nahin Aayee,
Upar Ki Seat Mili Thi..
Bunta :- Toh Exchange Kyun Nahin Kiya
Santa:- Arrey Praji, Kisse Kehta...Neeche Ke Seat Pe Koi Bhi Nahin Tha.
Santa  :-  Is Mirror Ki Kya Guarentee Hai.
Dukandar :-  Aap Isse 100 Floor Se Niche Girao,
Ye Mirror 99 Floor Tak Nahin Tutega
Santa :-  Wah Bhai Wah !! Pack Kar Do..!..
Jasmeet :- Lo Light Chalee Gayee..Garmee Lag Rahee Hai..
Santa :- Light Chali Gayee Toh Kya, Pankha Chalu Kar Do..
Jasmeet :- Lo! Ki Na Vahi Sardaron Walee Baat...
                Agar Fan Chalu Kiya Toh Mombatti Bhuj Nahin Jayegee...
                    
Santa Singh Ne Ek Kawa Paal Liya..
Aab Soochne Laaga..Kya Naam Raakhe ?
Kawa Bauhot Mulayam Tha..

To Sochne Ke Baad
Usne Apne Kawve Ka Naam 
'Microsoft'
Mi-Crow-soft  Rakh Diya.

 Santa:- Oye Puttar..Gabra Mat. Tu Sher Da Puttar Hai
 Beta :- Oye Papaji,
 Teacher Bhi Yehi Bolti Hai.. 
Ke Tu Kisi Jaanwar Ki Aulad Hai.
            
Suhag Raat Pe Santa Ne Bibi Ko 500 Ka Note Deke Kaha,
Humne Yeh Kam Kabhi Free Mein Nahin Kia.
BiBi Ne 200 Wapas Deke Kaha,  Humne Bhi Apno Se Kabhi Jyada Nahin Liya.

Santa Aur Jasmeet Ko Ladki Hui..
Jasmeet :-  Sunoji, Jab Yeh Badi Hogi Toh Ladke Usse Patayengey
Santa :-  Oye, Koi Gal Nahin Jassi, Maine Is Problem Ka Solution Dhoond Liya Hai.
Jasmeet :-  Kya Solution?
Santa :-  Hum Iska Naam “Didi” Rakhengey

Bunta Singh Puri Zindgi Sochta Raha,
... Sochta Raha
... Sochta Raha
... Sochta Raha
... Aur Sochte Sochte Sow Gaya Ke Agar Meri Sister Ke 2 Bhai Hai To Mere Kyu Nahi..

Nasa Mein Santa Aur Bunta Ko Chand Pe Bheja Gaya,
Rocket Uda Magar Adhe Raste Se Vapas Aaya.
....Un Se Pucha Gaya To Bole...:- Aaj Amaswas Hai Chand To Nahi Hoga.

Santa Jungle Mein Ghoom Raha Tha.. 
Pedh Par Ek Saap Latha Hua Dikhayee Diya..
Paas Gaya Aur Bola..Iss Tehra Latak Ne Se Height Nahi Badhtee..
Ghar Jao Aur Maa Se Kaho..'Complan Ya Ovaltine' Pilayee...

Bunta Aur Preeto Train Ke Liye Platform Par Khade The
Itane Me ' PUNJAB MAIL'  Aayee,
Bunta  Bhag Kar Train Par Chad Gaya...
Aur Bibi Preeto Se Bola..
Jab ' PUNJAB FEMALE'  Aaye To Chad Jaana..!

Santa :-  Parso Meri Biwi Khuwe Me Gir Gayee, Bahut Chot Lagi, Bahut Chilla Rahi Thi..
Banta :-  Ab Kaisi Hai Wo..?
Santa :-  Ab Theek Hi Hogi, Kal Se Khuwe Se Awaz Nahi Aa Rahi Hai.!

Bunta Nalke Par Paani Pee Raha Tha..
Kuch Loog Jaama Ho Gaya...
Bunta Bola:- Arrey Ab Kya Ek Sardar Chain Se Paani Bhi Naih Pi Sakta..
                 Ismein Bhi Joke Chahiye Tumhe...
                 
Jaan Loge Bechare Sardaron Ki..!

                                                  (¨`·.·´¨) Always
                                                    `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Keep
                                                   (¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Smiling!
                                                       `·.¸.·´ 

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Kuch To

Good Morning




Happiness is Not Something You Have in Your Hands,
its Something You Carry in Your Heart,
You Are The Only One That Can Make Yourself Happy,
And When You Are Happy,
And You Give it Away Generously
it Will Return To You A Thousand Fold.

A Very Small Degree Of Hope is Sufficient To Cause The Birth Of Love Beautiful Shayari GroupBeautiful Shayari Group





Be Happy Keep Smiling Alwayss
Take Very Good Care Of Urself
Have A Nice & Blessed Day


Dua Ki Talib
Mrs. Rubina Yasmeen